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'IJ4. J VP.'
September n, igi2.
THEY can't help it, you see. They have no credit furnishing system in Bird-land. Nests are built twig by twig with infinite patience and labour—but the home of the human is built in a far more expeditious way. H Our simple credit furnishing system gives you all you want—and first rate goods too—and you pay by small degrees.
27 & 28 BERNARD ST., Southampton
L* P
and 82 Commercial Rd. Bournemouth.
Thl, Invaluable Medicine >■ eminently efficacioui, at it wholly REMOVES the PAIN and SWELLING of GOUT within 34 HOURS, and being perfectly harmless can be taken by the greatest invalid.
Price 1/9, 2/9 and 4/6 per Bottle.
_____. . River View, River Bank, East Greenwich, S.E.
l / ~.,RS'—"hue paying a vmt to Southampton some weeks back, was taken with a severe attack of Gout, and as I was due back at business the next day, was much worried in consequence ; however, my Brother procured for me a bottle of "Webb's Qout Specific" from you, mod I cannot speak too highly of the preparation, in (act It acted like magic-scarcely able to get my foot to the ground, yet within 30 hours had my boot on and back in London, and had no reourwee #mce. Kindly send me by return another bottle (Postal Order enclosed), as I do not feel safe without it In the house. Thanking you for your valuable preparation.
Messrs. JOHNS & SON. Yours faithfully, ALF. J. PERRY.
Prepared ONLY by
J.' JOHNS & SON, Dispensing Chemists,
|Tw» Doors belov Bar, and the Tramway Junction (1*6, Above Bar Street), SOUTHAMPTON
Interesting Items
to Visitors.
Objects of Ancient History In Southampton.
THE SOUTH TOWER, alao caUod God'. Homo Tower, which formed the South East corner of the medieval fortifications, 15th Century.
This is situated near' Queen's Park.
GOD'S HOUSE, or the Hospital of 8L Julian, called also "Maison Diea or Domus Dei" in medieval document*. Some remain* of the 13th and later Centuries.
GOD'S HOUSE GATE, 13th Century, eo called from its proximity to Goal's House.
Remains of ancient Norman structure, traditionally said to have been Canute's House in Porter's Lane. The date of Arches is 12th Century.
The ancient WOOL HOUSE, about 14th Century, at the Sonth-esat corner of Duels Street. It was formerly called the Weigh House, and in It wool and other commodities were weighed.
The WEST GATE, near West Quay, 13th Century. This gave entrance to the Town from the earliest quay constructed ss landing-place for the medieval Port.
(2 Doors from Boots, Chemists).
Crown Bar & Bridge Work. Old Cases Remodelled. B Repairs, etc.
Consultations Free. ^ Hours to to 8. Saturdays to to i.
;-at Moderate Fees.
The ARCADE in the Town Wall, extending on both sides of the Norman House. This Arcade was constructed in the 14th Century, ^after the burning of the Town by the
The TOWN WALLS. These may be best seen along the Western Esplanade, extending from the entrance to the Koyal (ier to Bar-gate Street.
The NORMAN VAULT, on the Western Esplanade, abutting on the Town Wall, which is of Norman date in this part.
The CATCH COLD TOWER near the Forty Steps, and the Arundel Tower at the beck of the "Tower Inn," Western Esplanade. These Towers are probably of the 14t2i Century, and formed the chief defences of the North-west corner of the ancient Town.
The BARQATE. The central round Arch is of Norman date; The Southern face restored in 18634, is of the time of Edward HI., early 14th Century, and the Northern face of the time of Richard II., late 14th Cen-
The MEDLEVAL OR UNDERCROFT, & vaulted structure of the early 14th Ontory
This is situated in Simnel Street, near
St.. Michael's Square.
ST. MICHAEL'S CHURCH, a baRding which contains characteristic architectural remains of dates from the early Norman to late perpendicular periods.
superstructure of Tudor date, on the West aide of St. Michael's Square.
F.S.I., F.A.I.
Auctioneer, Surveyor, Valuer & Fire-Assessor. Offices: 93, ABOVE BAR. Auction Rooms: SUSSEX RD.
1=1 o{a a Local Director of London & Lancashire Fire Insurance Co.
Insurances in all Branches effected. Fire Losses Assessed.
state thai Wellington never said "Up Guards end lat Von." Thi-y have even attempted to prove thai King Alfred did not burn the o&kee (but if ho 'had * sister given to cookery experiment: I maintain he did). Am u schoolboy I gloried in that hiatono tradition of how Drake and Hawkins calmly played out their pame of bowls when the Anmula was in sight. Now so intone has pounced dowin on this little incident o Plymouth Hoc, and states that it is all wrong. It i» a peculiar world. Everything wens spuriotu, from Shakespeare to Bacon, and very probably it will be proved thai you and I are not ourselves at all. We movtf with the times, but,the great danger is that wo might be visibly moved by the times. 'Peace on earth, I nay, but when on earth are wo going to get it? Scientists, cease fire!
'•At the electric light station. Mejdc six ton fly-wheel of the Diesel engine brok< ou* any warning." So says a daily paper! Now I maintain it was beastly impolite of the fly-wheel not to give duo notice of he intention. "Without
IN LIGHTER VEIN. (Continued from Pago 3>.

* It is an American invention. Shades of genius. They aro ever on the intellectual osv-can. They aeem to have genius packed in ospsules ready for jBdnrinostration. In New York they have just introduced a tutor for the hostess. When a panic-stricken hostess with a ball two days off ham no idea of entertaining *n her bnain, she ealls in the ^professional mntcrtfcuner, who gives her a course of tuition. Ho at oneo mimes her up, and determines the courso of intellectual oxygen administration that is most promising.
gentlemen aeem able to advis<
connection with entertainment, dance,
talk; en fact, they have the world's science, literature, arod amusement ready packed, so that it can ho easily swallowed by the most dander-headed person who ever honked a motor-car. One thing we wish, and 4hat is that they will keep their quick lunch methods to themselves.
The British Association met K* week, and •cientifio, eemi-soientific. and dorm-#omi scientific genUemem have been tumbling over one another $11 order to prove thia thing wrong and tho other one right. It is now more thai* eighty years sinco Darwin played the same game by writing his "Origin of Species." which has kept John Bull busy debating over since. Darwin devoted one took to tho study of men. but tho melancholy jfect presents 'itseelf the* this worthy scicnti^
thought fit to wrote two books on "Earth Worms." In this case the worm turned out in two books. Professor Sohafpr-atla-to*. that "Wo may hope some day to Mas <3io material tbot composes a cell life prepared synthetically by chemists." So now we know! Thus are wo earth crawling creatures ruthlessly pulled down from our pedestals, and claused with the goods at tho chemist*. Can be obtained of all chemists! Not only that, but the worthy Professor has furnished the basis of the recipe upon which tho chemist may prepare living matter. The ingredients are "carbon, oxygen, and nitrogen, with certain inorganic salts, like chloride of sodium, aaha of calcium magnesmm. and a few other salts." This is too bad, but, as Senega has said, "It is folly to die of the fear of death," though the Professor has really unnerved us, for the chloride of sodium and the salts of. calcium within u* begin to firx. Back to your bottles.
We have hitherto looked with scorn upon inanimate matKE,-l*Au«e life, like electricity, h«s not been Explained. Ilut the fare*, is over, we ring down/the curtain, we are discovered, spotted as it were, dissected, and placed in a measure glass. Thus is another lend illusion shattered by tho brain jugglers. Wo have-had too much of this disillusionment of late, and it is not good for us either. Dr. Nansen has intubated that our worthy Columbus never discovered America" He maintains tliat- mas done by the Norsemen years btforo Odumlms wasr barnf-*nw#e idol shaitererm
jenhead,\» broke with\

Now the fly-wheel is an inanimate thing, and tiny bo excused, but we cannot excuse these scientists, and, like the fly-wheel, they ought really to give us notice, so that we may catch our breath, and not shatter »o many illusions "without any warning." There have been several flanueMtc inquests this past week, Flannelette has built up many fortunes, and these have been
made by the Englishman's fondness for illusions. It owes its popularity to thq fact that while «t does not contain one panicle of flannel, it is got up to look like the real thing. So <0 be successful in business you must make something that looks like something else. "Rich Stilton" and "Prime Chcdder" cheese we are now told ere imported from abroad, and best English baoon cornea from America. Thus are our iUusions shattered and knocked down like ninepins.
If ever we want to hurt a man we aim at hi.i head. Accordingly a German writer, aarcnsticalJy mucking our bald heads I suppose, stakes that them is on record a head of hair ten and a half feet long. Shades of a barber's pole! This is aiceso where the barber might be excused for absolutely refusing to give a shampoo, for a ten-foot shampoo may be no joke. Strange to relate, thi.i head of hair grew on no woman's head, but belonged to an Indian chief. Melisande in the story, like the heroines of many others, had hair aihioh reached from her chamber window to the ground. Thia has always seemed unlikely to me in an age when (wo have heard it whispered) few women can sit on their own hair. Ij. is stated that it' wo of the uglier sex cho c we might bravo hair like women. Men who never cut their locks, liko the hirsute monks of Russia, the goatherds of Italy, and the Javan savages, have hair as long as women. But, of course, these people d<* not live in England, where the Custom is not to have any hair at all after the age of forty.
— I ■! 1.1
. W. ___"
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