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September 1^12
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Editorial Chaf.
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TELEPHONE No. 107 (a Links).
One Year Six Months One Quarter
6/8 3/4 1/8
Advertising Terms on application to :—
Southampton & District Pictorial
45, Above Bar,
Photographic Competition
Best Photograph of Local Interest.
The Pictures should be Topical in Character, and bear on the back the Name and Address of the Sender, and a Description of their subject.
(Photographs should reach us by SATURDAY MORNING),
It is a Condition of the Competition .that we •hall be permitted to reproduce any of the pictures sent in; but in the event of publication a payment of half-a-crown per photo will be made.
With theprwent(number tho ..rial narrative „is|,u coming on more local asiwts.ol tin- South Aliican campaioi apr,r,vi-t.xl. ami it .

(o a How. It ha* aorrrd to rmphaai^ ; Hie im;wrtant part played by Southampton dur | ing the Ikx? war. What wea then acorn,, j plisluxl we can certainly now regard with par-donahle pride. I .old Kitchener, wh "*e home owning ia refemxl w thisltwk. ma w;wcmllv | gemvuua in hi. rvf^ncc w the aplemlid achiovid by the dock and steamship authorities. The magniHornt manner in whld\ tho work was handled undoubtedly set the mm! on Soutliamp.
twi'a rppauii.m ** , |owngfr po#t. "
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Apart from recognition for war services the I a 20 freedom of Southampton ha* only thrice. been wln r conferred, rit, upon tlw late Mr. Wynillram l„ I, Spencer I'ortal |tho Orst freeman). Sir George was Ilu&sey, and AMoritan llaixv. The name, ot 1-arl Itoberts, Vu^ouftt Kitchener, and General liullor nattier the list imperishable. The other freemen are Dr. II. K. louder, Dr. W. P. Pur viff, and the following members of the Southampton Volunteer Anilmlancc Corps: A. \V.
Collins. II. T. Col.-s, K. \V. Corl„4t. I:. ,1. Clnllingionl, A. Cavill, II. A. Day, K. J.
Eburne, A. II. Gricourt, W. Gilbert. K. II. .Montgomery, A. I!. Marsh, A. It. Martin. J.

• ling matter will bo to provide

.-7.....inteivvting features, parti. ulara of
*h:,|| w II fk^lly k' given. Tliia will net. however, he at the expense , f the pictunv*.
I"' I'irt. r will g|w,y. i,_. prinurilva
pnrnre pap r. tlurgh ,t will bn ,non. than that. We shall endeavour t> nuke it a model ■rving i.f a pla
local family ciicle.

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Mo. da have killed the ailly pent came cnee or twic.\ ' tl'e big p*>K.-!«.tit noUxly
i it was pimted, and jf the owner wrote favourite newspaper ab ut it the letter ver print,xl. One paper actually atartwl ather a'gna, indicating when lain might roafonaidy bo expecttd. but they k-rinw nunnnma l„ I* remembered, aikl (he min came wjUinwt the sign*. Feople tried to explain to other*, who only jeered, the im-|mfaihility of living even dewntly on JC800 a \eat ; indeed some of the letters- of really wealthy pewple msuly brought tears to one's eves. "Fancy," they said, "living without a imdnrl How do pmyle exiat?" (XYmuonally
In Lighter Vein.
• (By T. Jfty.)
"A snapper up nf unconsidered trifle*."
tu i • . I Photo Reg A. Candy,
he above picture shows the state of the road from Kastleigh to Chandler's °. ' last lvyck' as ,hc rcsult of 'he excessive rainfall. The school children UUtte enjoyed the novelty, and paddled in the water for hours.
I. C. II. Swmnnrll, C. M. Smith, O. We*. 4on, and C. W elch. The following members of the Active Service Contingent wf the 3nd ^ oltuiteor Itattalion Hampshire Kegiment have beiu similarly honoured: Captain Julian Per kjiw, Lieut. F Xkkjmn, K. If. Comptcii, F. J. A. Faynr, J J. Glimpman, W. H. Ifartktt, K. F. Corbin, F. C=vr. A. Ilwrim, J. K. Ilw#a,d. K. Jolly, W. King, K. O. King, 11. K. Lewis, .1. J. I^wfence. A. Muody, T F. Xoycr, A. MatUwiald. S. Ferry. A. Mead. K If. Reeve*, E. ( . Sfackmau, J. Shefn, A. C. Starr, W . \\ . Smith, \\ W allF Waterman, J. C. Wells, and S. P. Utility.
Mr. \\ Murmy, the mating** of the South ampton l'.ihc •. has traveled in many parts if

bright* i

AH photos sent for approtml will be carefully considered by the kditor. but no lesponsibility mhat-ever can be accepted in respect thereof, mhhough, if unsuitable, every efort wUI be made to return them provided that a stamped addressed envelope of suit-able sue is enclosed for that purpose.
d ^ib- a r.c nt tiip r, M. xln,. "Ili^ ,*,.ry will fully illiutiaU-d. In the s« < ul < jfpbr a bull dgl t will I... realistically p i. traywl
@ e e
Uuriu.. U,e wmt : m nU,. tie I'.^ i al" will be enlarged." D ubthaa with the long
note to chaae away the | gloom, it i» the w»bir truth that the only |xopl«- who were iw/t afraid to confess that they a ere happy, were those w ho told how they lived and kept a family f« r a year on the price •>f quite the cheap*ft motor.
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Another-Motion «f tin* community which is eiitithd to the #y ni pa I by which is hereby ex-tende«l« is that portion of subuibia which do : lights in gardening. In spite iA the weather p *opI • went away in August the ie|M;rt from : tlu s«'asido rew.rts show t^.it " f lu Tb« r • tilt is «!i " « iu the garden. I'll.- fru t is plentiful eixug '. though there is j a l"t i f dv a, , hut fiom «T«ry other stand l< nt tlnyji w -re never to hopeb-ss. Lawra are . 11" ■* worst, b.-ii g «p it'- Iy d the |>owcre of the cviiinion or g id n ir. .w»r after lying fallow fur ft foftTii,'bt.
I i Huuua ihey pull a when they wm.l rein, and this i» a capital idea, seeing that the pulling of a rope i» within the fonipeleney of most of us. tfcl'linr has sai.1 that we can all Ket that which wo demand, but most vholar* agree that Pliny did not run m neek ami nick whh George Washing, ton, so wo will dixmi** the theory of pulling a lepo to sto|, rain. It I. ,n III wind that Now, wood, and while the pwpk of Southampton have beon deploring the heavy rainfall mf late, th# l ancet," with its usual cutting into the inner hves nf people telk us that rain I, good for us. The passage of the rain through the air charges ihe air with oaono. and so while we have the rain and its many discomforts, we are consoled by tho tact that wo aro lieiping to keep a lot of osono roaming round paying no board bills. . 7ho "Lancet ' ays that la«l Saturday "the London air was positively rhargwl with otone," and starch lodido paper es|Msm| to the air at once turned blue." This iodide paper is not tho only thing calculated to turn blue when exposed to the air of late, for when wo ventured to tho oflice door th» other evening we turned . . but that Story will keep belter than tho varnish on our door. At the time ol writing k is * toss up whether wo call a taxi or nwiiii the Channel, and Knnng *t the Kcraiiiiims playing water polo in tho (jaiden makes us wish we had bought ducks.
A scientist iu Germany has been paying special attention to the subject of rain, and hopes to in* troduee u hug* machine that will keep fain off. certain towns that do not want it. As I write I gme through my window, it is raining, at tho tie««. and I feel I should like to bring them in and dry Ihoir poor old tiuuks. It is very peculiar, ! but, nevertheless, Jrue, that most of us havo a «rcat affection for trees, and it has always been my theory that this sffection was brought mhont by tin fact that our hairy forefathers used to dwell in them. Hut my theory is smashed up, as might bo expected, by a great Herman physician, Hurgh* <• mannj who states that "tho living principle exists in inanimate matter." Therefore trees, by thU theory, must Ik> ahl« to seo things. And bearing ' in mind (list our furyhuro is made from trees, thero is every possibility that our chairs are slyly * peeping at us. Oilhertian position of the em. bsirassed lover when lie a«ks for a kis, Tho maiden fair will say "not before the furniture, ^
Another scientist bus been paying special atten- 1
lion to the subject of poelry. A certain M. Mules J
ha4 invented m wonderful machine, and we are told j
that the whole of li rlin is enraptured. I reserve j my raptures. I hi, machine la callnl the
"plethysmography and I hope it is not so bad aa |
it * name implies. This machine will tell you how i
much you like poetry. It is attached to I ha 1
victim's wrist, and records his emotions by means 1
of iwniiril marks on a cylinder. A room is darkened, A
and a first-class gramophone is loaded with poetry, ■] then the victim Is brought In 'presumably without force) and scaled in a chair with the machine at-(ached to his *ri,l. If he likes, tho poetry tho
fact will be rerordsd by a pencil ct/Hw, which will 5
be downwards. I aOggeet that a few poena be J
tried on waiters, servant girN. professors, and *
ineinbers of Parliament, so thai w« may Im able j
to judge whether pwtiry is a trait only to be found a
in certain rlaamwi. I suppose it will not.lie long ^
lieforo this machine will I* as much a pa it of the J
newspaper office as the much abused "devil," and 3
On budding poet will think twice Wore he sends |
along his poetry to ho lesled by machine. For, j of'- course, there arm some things x machine will not ' "a
stand. However, should he summon up courage to 3
I submit his versos to the editors room, hn might j]
reieive a> rejection slip something liko this: "The |
« hief engineer regrets Ihsl your poem only sh6ws 1
Iwer.ty lyric horse power Ii is therefore re- \
!• is a jolly good idea. thi> unrfhod of calcula ting tho emotions. I hope i» will not stop at 1 |«oelry, for the inventor would confer a l>oon upon i humanity by making it adaptable to music and .£ political speeches. The young lady next door, for a instance, who imitates battering rams on th«s 4 piano, or sings "l/ove's Young Dream" while we | aro deeply engrossed in a book studying what % Mtnenis Agrippa said altout I ho parable in ancient Rome. Of course we liko music, but wm like Ihe piano next door at a greater distance. Perhaps when this machine comes along we ijiall !»•» able to send iu a paper chart to the young lady showing her that her music only produces a very low degree of human emotion ii|mui ourselves.
Then, again, the man who calls to trim the garden, and gen rally leavnt us I ho poorer by m trowel or two, might I* given a curve or.two on this la-strument that iuighl leave no doubt as to our emotions. When this machine i* In working order w » shall not ne»l to roar at aelors. Wo can send them dowt» a curve or two. making it a complete cucle iu some really severe case*, ''/i
Auihor* have not Ixen well blessed in niatrl-ud ial matters, and I note that «o.utune with a passion for real antique scandals has Imd prying into tho lives of >las(Continucsl on page 14.) ,
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